Last weekend Significant Other and I settled down in the cosy warmth (well it was marginally less cold in the sitting room than it was outside) to watch the rugby on television. There we were, curled up on the sofa like the Queen and Duke underneath the car rug, with some homemade (Significant Other cooks!) yummy chilli on our laps, awaiting the feast which should have been Ireland v France, played out under the frozen night time skies of Paris. For those who were doing something slightly more interesting last Saturday night, the clue to this PS is “should have been”. Ten minutes into the programme, a pitch inspection took place (like it would take a genius to know that if it’s -10C outside and its 8:35pm, it’s going to be (a) frozen and (b) not get any warmer), unsurprisingly enough, the match was postponed in its place the BBC decided that what was missing from every rugby fan’s life is a history of Country at the BBC. I kid you not…
So there we were, Queen and Duke-like, tucking into our chilli, when were visually assaulted by the likes of Dolly Parton warbling and strumming.
You turn it off…. No, I like country, you turn it off, and other such sentences were uttered, but neither ventured from underneath the rug whilst there was a warming chilli to be scoffed.
The next song came on, and yeah goodness me, what is that man wearing?
You see, whilst it’s a well known truth that the 1970’s are the decade that taste forgot, if you team the 1970’s up with country music (famed for its tastelessness), what you get is compulsive fashion viewing.
Turn it off, I couldn’t tear my eyes from it!
So there we were watching Charley Pride in suit with a pattern so big it probably needed its own dressing-room and a style that defies belief – I mean who in their right mind would end a man’s jacket just below his waist?. Next up we had Kenny Rodgers with lapels reaching his shoulders and flared jeans, and of course beautifully blow-waved hair. Then there was Glen Campbell looking suspiciously like a Bee Gee with big lapels, big print shirt and big hair (or did they look like Glen Campbell, who knows or cares, but if you describe someone as Bee-Gee-esq everyone immediately has a mental picture). Then of course there is Queen of Country, good old Dolly again, what can we say that hasn’t already been said? Ok I’ll say it, triple denim!
This was jaw-dropping compulsive TV at its fashion best… or should that be worst?
Then it got me thinking, in thirty years’ time, what will the Beeb replace postponed sporting fixtures with? What horrors will the next generation be gawping at?
You know where I’m going with this. It’s that guilty secret television. It’s the television that dare not speak its name!
Last week, whilst chatting with one of my bridal customers, the subject of wedding programmes arose. Whilst I’m not a big television fan, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding is my guilty pleasure. Unfortunately I’m not allowed to watch is in the presence of Significant Other on account of the fact that he watched a couple of episodes last year and muttered something about car-crash TV, but didn’t leave the couch and appeared as compelled to watch as I am, then felt bad because it’s an hour of time he’ll “never get back”, so now I have to record and watch… alone.
And it’s certainly jaw-dropping. The huge dresses, the make-up, the tans! The “dressmaker to the gypsies” is hilarious, as she takes it so seriously (as well she might considering she’s driving a top-of-the-range, Range Rover!), with the larger than large designs and dresses. The mothers of the bride who are probably a good ten years younger than me, and look older than my mother! And of course the grooms who “cannot be filmed as it will harm their business interests”…! The fact that these young girls (most are barely women) are marring themselves into a life of slavery does sadden me (especially when the sky is the limit for woman nowadays) but there isn’t anything I can do, and for me, it’s great downtime, cup of tea and chocolate bar TV. It’s jaw-dropping but it’s compulsive but
However, there is another contender for the car-crash wedding TV. Don’t tell the Bride. I admit I’m a newbie to this one (recommended last week) but can see how it’s going to become part of compulsive viewing. Essentially, it is about couples who want to get married but can’t afford their dream wedding. BBC3 give them £12k, but the groom has to plan the wedding in three weeks…! So these woman harp on about their dream dress, fantasise about how it’s going to look, but in actual fact, they’re leaving the most important dress they’ll (possibly) ever wear in their entire life, to their beer guzzling, football loving geezer.
Good TV, yes. Compulsive, definitely. Would you?… absolutely not!
Now we’ve said goodbye to TOTP, and so long to most of the chat shows and variety programmes which were essential viewing during 70’s and 80’s prime-time hours, all we’re left with is documentary-soap-esq television whether it be food, home appearance or “reality”.
So if the 1970’s is the Decade that taste forgot, how will this one be remembered?




